Guaranteed Ways to flunk Rehab
Concentrate your time on playing solitaire and Scrabble, watching TV and listening to a boom box with all the latest Drug culture songs.
Insist you have to make several business calls each and every day or your company will go belly up.
Repeatedly threaten to jump ship; actually leave before the course of educational treatment is completed.
Sleep late, then sack out again after breakfast during your free time. Skip meetings and group sessions. Think up really good excuses (like a blinding headache) to explain your absences.
Go through the motions to appease your sponsor, do not participate in group, daydream and wish you were somewhere else and pretend you are together and paying attention when you are not.
B.S. everybody; say you will do what you should, but then conveniently forget. Lie to yourself and to everyone else. After all, who will know? Do not write in your journal and do not be honest with your answers.
Stubbornly resent the fact that They have taken away your freedom, that you have cut off from the love of your life and your bosom buddies and show that resentment by fighting the educational process every step of the way.
Wallow in self-pity that AA people sometimes call sitting on the pity pot poor me, nothing ever goes right for me. So rehab won't work either. I only drink (or drug) because of all my problems, and my problems won't go away Ignore these important truths: You drink or take drugs because you have a disease called addiction; everybody has problems, some even worse than yours; not everybody turns to chemicals to deal (or escape dealing) with them.
Be a know-it-all student. What do sponsors and educators know anyway? They are alcoholics, too. Besides, I am smarter than all of these other addicts. I don't need a string of cliches to live my life or a sponsor to tell me what to do; I can take care of myself, I am not a puppet whose strings they can pull. Forget about who or what as pulling the strings when you were drinking or drugging.
Act dumb, so nothing will be expected from you. Nothing is just what you will get out of rehab.
Romance the drink or the drug. Talk about the good things you felt or that happened when you were using alcohol or other drugs. Daydream a lot about drug paraphernalia and culture.
Keep compatible company. Spend all the time you can with people doing the same things listed above.
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