|
For the Spouses
If your spouse
or companion is an alcoholic and/or drug addict,
the options may seem limited as to what you can
do. Your significant other has numerous options
for their alcoholism or drug addiction if and
when they choose to seek help. But what about
you, the person who lives day after day with an
alcoholic or drug addict? What are your options
for your personal welfare? There is a very good
chance that without you in their life they would
be living on the streets, or worse, maybe even
dead.
You have extended your heart and your pocketbook
time after time. You have been the emotional and
financial support for the both of you, maybe for
the entire family, for a while now. Maybe you
are ready for them to get better and wish they
would just stop drinking or using. Maybe you
feel taken advantage of and are resentful. Maybe
their drinking or using has damaged the
relationship beyond repair but you still stick
around, hoping against hope, that they will come
to their senses and get help or stop altogether.
Maybe you have threatened to leave and did, only
to find yourself back in the same situation a
few days, weeks or months later. You’ve tried
everything but feel helpless, hopeless and
unsure of what to do next. So what are your
choices?
First and foremost, if you, your children or
anyone living with you has been or is being
physically or sexually abused, immediately
remove yourself and those around you from where
the abuse is taking place and contact the
authorities. There are safe houses for battered
women and men, the Y.W.C.A., Y.M.C.A, or family
members and friends that may take you in either
temporarily or permanently. It’s not worth your
life, your children’s life or anyone else’s life
to stay in a high-risk, extremely dangerous
environment hoping the alcoholic or drug addict
will “get better”.
In
nearly every dysfunctional relationship, such as
living with an alcoholic or drug addict, there
is emotional and verbal abuse. This doesn’t
necessarily mean you should pack and leave but
it doesn’t mean you should stay either. Each
situation should be carefully reviewed by those
involved and hopefully with the help of a
therapist and support group. By using those
resources, an appropriate conclusion will be
made that will benefit most everyone.
One option to consider is attending of Al-Anon
meetings. There you will find other men and
women similar to you who have lived with or do
live with an active alcoholic or drug addict.
You will find support, understanding, a sense of
belonging and insight in how to deal with your
situation.
For your children, there is Ala-Teen. Ala-Teen
is similar to Al-Anon, but for the teenager. It
is run and maintained by teenagers and there
they find support among peers who have been
affected by the alcoholism of a friend or family
member.
Alcoholism and drug addiction is a family
disease. What that means is after years of
living with an alcoholic or drug addict, the
members of the family are deeply affected by the
behaviors of their addicted loved one. They
become, in a sense, sick too. It is a terrible,
destructive disease that affects everything and
everyone. All joking aside, the family pet may
even be affected.
For those of you suffering through everyday of
having to live with an alcoholic, there is hope
for you. A quick look in the local phone book
will bring quick results. You can live a
happier, more fulfilling life with or without
the alcoholic or drug addict in your life. You
do have a choice.
By: Patrick McLemore
Go Back |
