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Alcohol and Family
Throughout the centuries
there have been countless stories of the
destructive nature of alcohol. Virtually every
historical document dealing with the ethics or
morality of a nation warns against the abuse of
alcohol. Even today, some nations and religious
groups go so far as banning the use of alcohol
altogether.
It
is widely known what happens to the family unit
that suffers with the disease of alcoholism.
Whether the alcoholic is mother or father, son
or daughter, they are a raging hurricane that
mercilessly plows through, destroying the lives
of everyone in their path. Luckily today, there
are places an alcoholic can go to get the help
they need and get their lives back on track.
There is some speculation as to who may be prone
to becoming an alcoholic. One theory is the
predisposition of particular genes in DNA passed
down from the parent. It is assumed if the
“potential” alcoholic is lacking particular
genes, they have a greater chance of becoming
alcoholic. In this sense, alcoholism could be
classified as a hereditary disease, passing down
from generation to generation. But no one knows
for sure what makes a person an alcoholic.
The disease of alcoholism and the family is
still a very secretive thing in our society
today. Most of us have had friends, if not
ourselves, who have had/ do have an alcoholic
parent or family member. This secret isn’t
usually shouted from the rooftops but kept under
lock and key and hidden away. No one is ever
usually too proud to have an alcoholic in their
family.
The alcoholic can be an enigma; one moment calm,
loving, peaceful and then the next moment (with
or without a few drinks) full of rage, hateful
and warring. Like a flipping coin, you may never
know how it’s going to end up. Some like to call
it the Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde syndrome. This can
cause fear and insecurity in a family that is
already on edge and walking on eggshells.
When drinking, the alcoholic can be a loathsome
creature who may be physically and/or
emotionally abusive; the cause of social
embarrassment, predatory, aggressive, the list
goes on. They can also be the complete opposite,
isolating themselves and being antisocial. They
may be emotionally unavailable, extremely
depressed and full of self-pity. Sadly these
behaviors can continue on for months, years, and
if they never seek help, for the rest of their
lives.
The alcoholic is usually the center of attention
for the family, needing attention and rarely
contributing or giving back and always in
trouble or in a crisis. Over time, this wears
deeply on the family members and, in a sense,
they become sick themselves. If the alcoholic is
having a good day, the family is having a good
day. If the alcoholic is having a bad day, the
family is having a bad day. This is codependence
which commonly develops among family members of
an alcoholic.
Luckily there are support groups for family
members who live, or have lived, with an
alcoholic. There are numerous programs available
like: Al Anon for family members of an
alcoholic; Ala-teen for teenagers of alcoholics
and ACoA for adult children of alcoholics. If
you have lived with or do live with an
alcoholic, there are others like you who now
live happy and purposeful lives. You are not
alone.
By: Patrick McLemore
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